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Dec 28, 2009, 6:21pm

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Crystal Heights :: Characters :: Creatures of the Sky :: Genesis

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Topic: Genesis (Read 73 times)

Aquamarine
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*paint the world beautiful coulors and admire it proudly!*

Joined: Feb 2006
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Posts: 37
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Genesis
« Thread Started on Dec 24, 2006, 1:01am »

Name:

Genesis

Age:3
Gender:female
Race:Griffon
Powers:wind, fire and psychic abilities
Description: She is a light brown colour with golden eyes and yellow beak. She has sharp long claws and a long lion tail with big light brown wings. She also has a ruby amulet around her neck. the ruby shape changes from a crescent moon to a heart or to a star with a ring of gold around it.
Personality: She is sometimes stubborn but mostly agrees. She is careful but can also be independant. Beleive it or not but she was once cold but you can;t blame her of her past resons...
History: When only a hatchling her mother had died leaving her with her father and siblings alone. When she was only a few months old her father went out and never came back..
Owner/Mount: human elamentalist named angel fire
Side:good side

« Last Edit: Dec 25, 2006, 11:01pm by Aquamarine »

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let your words of wisdom run free...
like a fish in the sea...
letting your eyes peek...
what you never thought they would seek...

Aquamarine
New Member

member is offline

[avatar]

*paint the world beautiful coulors and admire it proudly!*

Joined: Feb 2006
Gender: Female

Posts: 37
Location: Narnia
Karma: 0

Re: Genesis
« Reply #1 on Dec 25, 2006, 11:09pm »

hope ya like i !

« Last Edit: Dec 25, 2006, 11:10pm by Aquamarine »

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let your words of wisdom run free...
like a fish in the sea...
letting your eyes peek...
what you never thought they would seek...

Niki Melissa
Creator

For Narnia!
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Sit long, talk much, laugh often.

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Joined: Feb 2006
Gender: Female

Posts: 120
Location: Narnia
Karma: 10

Re: Genesis
« Reply #2 on Jan 15, 2007, 10:16am »

I'm amazed... you finished a character in two days!
Sorry if I'm being too critical with all that, but most of your charries don't get completed right away, or even at all.
A few edits: Grammar mistakes o'plenty. Misplaced modifier or something along those lines in the description, capitalization needs to be fixed as well; you misspelled "independent" in the personality section, as well as "reasons"; some other stuff in there makes no sense.
I won't fix this for you as you should find the nonsensical parts yourself, and I must note that you should explain the amulet, why her father left, etc. More detail would be nice.

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